BENTLEY DISCOVERED AFTER 1.5 MONTH DISAPPEARANCE

PRESS RELEASE for immediate distribution:

Melissa Bentley, 25, a Master's Student at Georgetown, has been discovered in her bedroom--alive. After a month and a half disappearance, roommates were alerted to her presence when the coca-cola can debris spilled out from her 10'x10' room into the hallway.

"I had no idea; she studies really quietly, I guess," one roommate said of the alarming discovery. "Of course I was beginning to wonder, but I thought Melissas hibernated at this time of year, so I wasn't too concerned. If she wasn't sleeping, though, you have to wonder what she's been up to."

While this time last year, another roommate recalled, Melissa had written both mathematical equations and paper flow charts on her windows in whiteboard marker with the feverish intensity of John Forbes Nash, Jr., a recent investigation of Melissa's room has yielded few clues. However, records show Melissa has accrued over the past semester 40+ books which she has nearly completed reading. Now that the list is almost complete, it appears that Melissa is growing more intrepid, even leaving her habitat in search of interpersonal encounters.

In an emergence more monumental than Punxsutawney Phil's, last Friday, Melissa crossed the threshold into her front room. Upon seeing her shadow, she scurried back into her room, a fully transformed nocturnal creature. This week, she has undergone several expeditions to the Georgetown Library where, once, she recalls, after sitting still for eight hours, the native freshmen who frequent the area grew so accustomed to her presence they resumed their customary conduct of making-out. "Yeh, I'm not going back any time soon," she stated, rubbing the back of her neck.

Melissa's "social sabbatical," she has said on her personal blog, will end on May 13th. Until then, Melissa welcomes donations of baked goods, caffeinated (Mormon-kosher) beverages, and witty and idle facebook messaging to break the tedium of finals and Orals Examinations.